i am being as nice as i can be being a family member in this family. but then again, i can’t always be nice. i have a limit and apparently, people just can’t seem to realize that. i am so mad and upset and everything, including myself. i hated how easily i let my sister and her damn boyfriend taking over the room and i just can’t do anything about it. any blind person can see that my room is fckn small as hell and that me & my sister are shopaholics which means we have TONS of shits. so i dont see how my sister’s bf can ALLOW himself to literally move in and live in here with US.
i dont like how just cuz im the younger one gives them the ‘idea’ that everything they do or say, i have to obey it. i fckn hate how this is also my room but i feel like it’s not even mine when her bf literally moves his shits in here and walk around in his boxer and half naked on top. the only reason why i wanted to give my room a makeover and have things cleaned out is because we have way too much things. hence, i ended up donated most of the old stuffs. but for my sister, she only cleaned up her mess a little bit and dump everything into the drawer and her bf still has the thoughts to buy a tv and a small fridge to place inside my TINY ASS OF A ROOM. i just cant believe. and the fact that i have to wake up every morning, feeling uncomfortable as hell that there’s a guy sleeping in my room, half naked, and that i couldnt even get ready and putting on my clothes inside my own room everyday.
i couldnt explain how i feel to my mom in vietnamese but i couldnt tell her in english either so idk if whatever i said came out making any sense. but either way, i exploded and cried my heart out right in front of them. it left my sis’s bf speechless and my sis still has the guts to say all these mean things to me to make me the bad guy and a selfish bitch, like what she would always do, all the times. i hate seeing my mom getting mad about this but then again, im so upset i could kill someone right on the spot. i hate how my opinions dont matter cuz im younger and not as ‘powerful’ in the family. i know my sis helps my parents pay more bills than i do but maybe that’s why she thinks she has the authority to treat me like nothing. she sides with her bf in everything that he does, never even once did she think about her own little sister’s feelings. MY feelings. never did she even ask me if she should do this or that. never. i honestly don’t care if she’s my sister, i could have hit her right there and then but i know i shouldnt. and i hated that fact.
if only i am financially stable, i wouldn’t even bother thinking twice about moving out but because i’m not and because my parents are living in this house as well, those two are the only reasons im keeping calm and trying my hardest to put up with my sister & her bf. i dont like how neither one of these SO-CALLED “ADULTS” are respecting what i have to say or even my personal rights and space. this room, i have been living here for more than 7 years and never did i feel so uncomfortable about living in this tiny space before but now that her bf decided to move his stuffs in here and practically living IN my own room with my sister, i just no longer feel that ‘comfy personal space’ anymore. my space became theirs, my room became theirs, everything is now theirs and i cant say anything about it. if i say something, they think and call me rude and selfish. if i dont say anything, i’m the one at loss. either way, i’m doomed. i cried and cried so much today but in the end, i still came out as a bad bitch.
i honestly dont hate my sister’s bf but i hate his guts for allowing himself to move in instead of asking my sister to move out with him instead. i hate his guts to even move out stuffs and bring in stuffs for his own good with my sister. i hate his guts to act like this is his house and he can do whatever he wants. i hate his guts to kiss up to my parents and treat me like nothing as if i’m not even there in the house. i dont hate him at first but im slowly disliking the things that he does ever since he started ‘living’ here. in general, i hate people like my sister and her bf. the ones that act like this is their house when it’s not. the one that dont even respect others when they expect people to respect them. the ones that dont even bother listening to what others have to say.
i wanna thank my mom for everything that she has given me. and for always being such a wonderful mom! everything that she has done for me, i cant thank her enough for all of that. i appreciate each and every of them. i asked her for a specific gift she’d like to receive because i’d rather buy a present that she would actually use & love instead of buying her a random present that she wouldnt be able to make a use out of it :) she said a watch like mine so i got her a MK watch but in a different style and she loves it. kevin bought her flowers and im so glad it put a smile on her face. also, i want to thank my grandma (dad’s mom) for staying strong in her sick bed and for becoming healthier each day. i brought in some flowers while visiting her today and she was all smiles while talking to me. it made my heart all warm up seeing my grandma all pink and smiling so bright. i couldnt be there for my grandma (mom’s mom) in vn but i also wish her a happy mother’s day & for always giving her best regards and love to me since i was a baby. i love you mom, grandmas, aunts, & every other moms out there, you all deserve to be loved! <3 happy mother’s day to all the moms out there. you all are wonderful!