the definition of ‘living your life’ isn’t all about going to different parties, getting drunk every night, partying your night away, meet many ‘cool’ people, doing drugs, smoke weed, etc. living your life to the fullest does not mean you are required to step out of your comfort zone and follow the ‘crowd’. you dumbass kept telling me i was a boring gal and that i should live my life more. yeah right, so practically im boring and no fun cuz i dont do drugs or go to parties as much as you do and that i dont have ‘cool friends’ in my life so i considered to be old fashion and lame.

my definition of ‘living my life to the fullest’ is not about me going to parties or doing drugs and get high. i live my life being as happy as i can be surrounding myself around people that influence me in a BETTER way. people that don’t initiate me to do drugs or force me to party when i don’t want to, but at least, they don’t judge me for being ‘boring’ for not being out in the public, partying every week. i’m not the type to go to many parties or get high or even do drugs but i wont say anything if that is your definition on having a ‘fun life’ cuz i mean, it’s your life, so do what you want with it. don’t judge how i live my life and how i handle my life if you’re no longer a part of it or that you have no intention to stay in it as well. you have no rights to judge the way i present myself and live my life.

i don’t smoke weed or take pills like you do or your friends do, but i wake up everyday with a smile on my face, going to work, earning that money, shop my stress away, watch my favorite movies with my lover, and spending quality times with my favorite people. that is what i called living my life the way i WANTED to live. not everything involving drugs, or getting high, or partying a lot is considered to be fun and ‘living life to the fullest’. it’s not all about following the crowd. i’d rather stay within my comfort zone doing the things i enjoy the most. so don’t tell me how to live my life. my life is boring? stay the hell out of it.

you know you deserve better. you know that your happiness counts, too. you know that deep down inside, this reality is by far the least thing you would want to deal with. and that suffering so much like this all because of one person, isn’t all that satisfying or worth it. so why settle for less than what you deserve?

• been going back and forth from my optometrist office for over a month now and i finally settle down with a brand new brand of contacts for my eyes. no more circle lens for me (im sure of it i think) because of my astigmatism. spent over one bill on my exam and purchased the contacts for my eyes. because of my astig, the lenses are a lot more expensive compare to the reg. ones OTL
• no more shopping for me until next month (3 weeks approx.) when kevin will be taking me to the saturday wholesale market thing in LA again which will also be our 14th (?) monthsary, so i gotta save up and hold myself back until then.
• daddy’s leaving to vn tmr and i gave him 2 bills (too little but since im too broke so…) to spend in vn & he’s gonna have a LOOONG vacay all the way until june ish, lucky dad T___T
• planning to clean out my room a bit more and buy drawers for more room for my clothes that keep coming in x____x i need more closet space ;~;

• i planned to wake up at 5:30 but i KOed so hard until 6AM ish & we got to the san pedro wholesale mart (YAY) at around 8 and it was literally ‘sort of’ packed there. we parked & kevin made me paid for the parking ($5) lol -____- saw this one chiffon shirt that my friend was trying to sell to me for $10 and i asked the (korean?) lady for how much it was & she said $5 so i was like “im sold” LOL i walked around the area and i ended up buying a bunch of stuffs without even knowing how much cash i have left in my wallet. the area was filled with lots of korean & mexican shop owners and it was literally really ghetto-ish, like the streets, the displays, and the restrooms too. but i love the feel of the whole place. everything was so cheap & affordable. for once, kevin didnt complain about the price of the pieces that i bought LOOL cuz he also think they’re crazily cheap as well. :D
• went back to our area to eat dimsum then went to get my daily boba drink then went to glendale mall/americana only to just do some window shopping cuz kevin forbid me from shopping anymore OTL then we went back to LA and a friend’s girlfriend hooked it up with a pair of chain bracelet for just $3.25 which kevin bought for me lol yessss ~ i dont even feel regret for spending over $50 (i would consider that to be a lot for shopping in one day for my wallet) because i love all of the stuffs that i bought. first time shopping at the wholesale area and i am literally in love with the place now. kevin promised that after i pay him back all the money i STILL owe him, which maybe by june cuz im still so broke :( THEN he’ll take me there again & let my ass shop till i drop O:
• sister is leaving to vegas tonight (?) and im gonna have the room to myself until tues oooh yessss. okay, since i woke up so early this morning, it’s time to rest early as well for work tmr. damn it :(

i always have a hard time picking out a certain kind of clothes or shoes that i would like to wear cuz of my stupid boyfriend aka one of the greatest hater EVER. lol like seriously, whatever i picked out a store, he would say “no, not that. no not that too, no. no no.” -_____-;; oh, especially ANYTHING that has to do with skulls… idk why the hell he hates them so much but yeah, he just told me “i just hate them” lolol baby said i have a very “different” fashion sense and most of the time, he always say “no” to the clothes i picked out just cuz he thinks i dress weird…. >< he said, “if you’re gonna wear this then please don’t stand next to me” LMAO this bitch. aigoo. idk but he’s the one person that i always would have to ask “should i wear this? or that?” whenever i pick out an outfit, otherwise, he wouldnt even wanna take me out man :(((( lol