you don’t deserve a good guy that will treat you well if you put yourself down and low enough to be with a douche. don’t complain why you think it’s unfair and that you deserve better. cuz if you know that you deserve better, you would choose to go for the better. not constantly being so dumb and keep going back to the one that hurt you the most. it’s nobody’s fault but yours. you are your own very biggest enemy, not anyone else.
the definition of ‘living your life’ isn’t all about going to different parties, getting drunk every night, partying your night away, meet many ‘cool’ people, doing drugs, smoke weed, etc. living your life to the fullest does not mean you are required to step out of your comfort zone and follow the ‘crowd’. you dumbass kept telling me i was a boring gal and that i should live my life more. yeah right, so practically im boring and no fun cuz i dont do drugs or go to parties as much as you do and that i dont have ‘cool friends’ in my life so i considered to be old fashion and lame.
my definition of ‘living my life to the fullest’ is not about me going to parties or doing drugs and get high. i live my life being as happy as i can be surrounding myself around people that influence me in a BETTER way. people that don’t initiate me to do drugs or force me to party when i don’t want to, but at least, they don’t judge me for being ‘boring’ for not being out in the public, partying every week. i’m not the type to go to many parties or get high or even do drugs but i wont say anything if that is your definition on having a ‘fun life’ cuz i mean, it’s your life, so do what you want with it. don’t judge how i live my life and how i handle my life if you’re no longer a part of it or that you have no intention to stay in it as well. you have no rights to judge the way i present myself and live my life.
i don’t smoke weed or take pills like you do or your friends do, but i wake up everyday with a smile on my face, going to work, earning that money, shop my stress away, watch my favorite movies with my lover, and spending quality times with my favorite people. that is what i called living my life the way i WANTED to live. not everything involving drugs, or getting high, or partying a lot is considered to be fun and ‘living life to the fullest’. it’s not all about following the crowd. i’d rather stay within my comfort zone doing the things i enjoy the most. so don’t tell me how to live my life. my life is boring? stay the hell out of it.
i am so tired of dealing with my sister’s bullshit. as much as i appreciate and thankful to have her as my sister, i just can’t seem to stand the fact that she can be such a brat and selfish person at times. she always complain how i’m so selfish and that i’m always so disrespectful. she never even once think about my feelings nor did she ever ask me for my opinions. i’m the younger one but that doesn’t mean she’s always right in everything. she always blab about me to her bf about the shit that i say or do like shit, what can he do to me? it’s not like he can do anything cuz this is my house, and this room is a part of mine, so he should be knowing his place instead. my sis bitches too much about the way i talk, the way i mention about organizing the room, the way i don’t let her borrow my shit cuz she never take care of them. everything i do, she always find a way to make it looks like i’m a bad person even though i only speak the truth. honestly, i dont wish for her to move out cuz this room is part of hers but then again, if she wants to stay with her bf so badly then she should think it through and be considerate towards me to move out so that i can have my own privacy without them BOTH invading my personal space, every damn day. sometimes, i really wish i had a brother. maybe then, my ‘brother’ wouldn’t be so selfish and uncaring like my sister. but then again, it’s not like my words matter anyways, cuz i’m the younger one.
you are so ridiculous and dumb. you make a fool out of yourself. and make your relationship looks like a joke in public. sometimes, you make people questioning your mentality and your skills on handling ‘reality’ because you are too caught up with a jackass you always complain about yet never ‘be smart’ enough to leave the jerk for someone new. yet you always tell people how fcked up he is but you’re the stupid one to always going back by his side even after every single time he did you wrong. you guys break up, you said you’re done, then he said baby im sorry i love you, then you take him back within a heartbeat. dont be butthurt when people look down on you because of how dumb you can be when it comes to what YOU think is ‘love’ cuz you make yourself look bad as a girl and people wont give you respect if you dont even bother to give you respect in the first place. stop making a fool out of yourself and think wise. sooner or later, your relationship and you yourself will just look like a joke and some stupid bullshit in people’s eyes.
i am being as nice as i can be being a family member in this family. but then again, i can’t always be nice. i have a limit and apparently, people just can’t seem to realize that. i am so mad and upset and everything, including myself. i hated how easily i let my sister and her damn boyfriend taking over the room and i just can’t do anything about it. any blind person can see that my room is fckn small as hell and that me & my sister are shopaholics which means we have TONS of shits. so i dont see how my sister’s bf can ALLOW himself to literally move in and live in here with US.
i dont like how just cuz im the younger one gives them the ‘idea’ that everything they do or say, i have to obey it. i fckn hate how this is also my room but i feel like it’s not even mine when her bf literally moves his shits in here and walk around in his boxer and half naked on top. the only reason why i wanted to give my room a makeover and have things cleaned out is because we have way too much things. hence, i ended up donated most of the old stuffs. but for my sister, she only cleaned up her mess a little bit and dump everything into the drawer and her bf still has the thoughts to buy a tv and a small fridge to place inside my TINY ASS OF A ROOM. i just cant believe. and the fact that i have to wake up every morning, feeling uncomfortable as hell that there’s a guy sleeping in my room, half naked, and that i couldnt even get ready and putting on my clothes inside my own room everyday.
i couldnt explain how i feel to my mom in vietnamese but i couldnt tell her in english either so idk if whatever i said came out making any sense. but either way, i exploded and cried my heart out right in front of them. it left my sis’s bf speechless and my sis still has the guts to say all these mean things to me to make me the bad guy and a selfish bitch, like what she would always do, all the times. i hate seeing my mom getting mad about this but then again, im so upset i could kill someone right on the spot. i hate how my opinions dont matter cuz im younger and not as ‘powerful’ in the family. i know my sis helps my parents pay more bills than i do but maybe that’s why she thinks she has the authority to treat me like nothing. she sides with her bf in everything that he does, never even once did she think about her own little sister’s feelings. MY feelings. never did she even ask me if she should do this or that. never. i honestly don’t care if she’s my sister, i could have hit her right there and then but i know i shouldnt. and i hated that fact.
if only i am financially stable, i wouldn’t even bother thinking twice about moving out but because i’m not and because my parents are living in this house as well, those two are the only reasons im keeping calm and trying my hardest to put up with my sister & her bf. i dont like how neither one of these SO-CALLED “ADULTS” are respecting what i have to say or even my personal rights and space. this room, i have been living here for more than 7 years and never did i feel so uncomfortable about living in this tiny space before but now that her bf decided to move his stuffs in here and practically living IN my own room with my sister, i just no longer feel that ‘comfy personal space’ anymore. my space became theirs, my room became theirs, everything is now theirs and i cant say anything about it. if i say something, they think and call me rude and selfish. if i dont say anything, i’m the one at loss. either way, i’m doomed. i cried and cried so much today but in the end, i still came out as a bad bitch.
i honestly dont hate my sister’s bf but i hate his guts for allowing himself to move in instead of asking my sister to move out with him instead. i hate his guts to even move out stuffs and bring in stuffs for his own good with my sister. i hate his guts to act like this is his house and he can do whatever he wants. i hate his guts to kiss up to my parents and treat me like nothing as if i’m not even there in the house. i dont hate him at first but im slowly disliking the things that he does ever since he started ‘living’ here. in general, i hate people like my sister and her bf. the ones that act like this is their house when it’s not. the one that dont even respect others when they expect people to respect them. the ones that dont even bother listening to what others have to say.
- just heard the news, daddy’s really sick in vn atm and im so worried ;~; i heard that daddy originally supposed to return in mid june but he has shortened it until around the end of this month cuz he was worried about mimi and that he didnt want to stay there for too long. he got food poison and a bad flu :( so worried for him T___T get well soon daddy <3
- had free time in my hands today so i decided to take down ALL of my kpop posters (not cuz im no longer into it, just that it takes up too much space) and my fingers almost feel like it was falling off ;~; but my room looks much brighter now! cant wait to buy new furniture to fix up my room :)
- sister was being a brat this morning about taking my shit w/o asking me again just cuz she thought i was too deep asleep to even noticed but i caught her & she called me “slut” in vietnamese, real rude & so not appropriate coming from an older sister like her. she took off the shirt that’s mine and threw it right at my face and when i told her to fold it and put it back into my drawer, she was like “FCK THAT” -___- i was pissed but because my vietnamese skills cant compete with her, i strike back at her in english and it shut her up, it felt good for once lmao. even though idk if she understands what i was saying. woke kevin up for that cuz i was so mad i needed to vent it out to him but yeah.
- planning to buy a drawer with LOCKS cuz of my damn sister pissing me off so much about always taking my shit w/o my permission and never take care of it and yet, even call me disrespectful & selfish. ughh. i wanna move out but i cant so fml.
- i honestly dont give a fck about what her bf thinks of me cuz shit, this is my house, and he should know better that this room also a part of what’s mine. he has been sleeping over everyday for over a month and apparently, him & my sister is buying a bigger closet for themselves cuz he’s moving his clothes into here too and guess who’s doing his laundry? ME! yep, my life right there. they’re both at that age to move the hell out of the house already yet they’re being so cheap & rude to sleep over under my bunk bed every night and have no shame about it. i talked rudely to my sis cuz she deserves it and the way he acts towards me changes every time im being rude toward my sister. idgaf about no nigga’s feelings or opinions especially when this room is also mine and i have the right to say what i want in it. im so pissed off.
people have the rights to choose to believe in whatever religion they want to believe in. you have no rights telling others which God to believe in. that is very disrespectful and inappropriate. i never complain or tell you that you can’t go to church or that you’re not allow to believe in Jesus. so you shouldn’t be telling me which God i should believe in either. i’m not a christian or a catholic person, i was born and raised up to believe in the one and only “God” which is Buddha. and if you were born and raised to worship Jesus as your God, then i have no objections to it. stop telling me that i should go to church or that i shouldn’t believe in Buddha. that is just rude. and stop telling others that they will go to hell or live a horrible life if they don’t believe in Jesus. that is very ignorant. this is America. and not everybody believes in Jesus. i have no objections against those who do believe in him but also don’t forget to respect those who DO believe in Buddha as well. i’m not saying neither one of the religions are bad for you but if people choose what they want to believe in then leave them be. i’m a Buddhist and i will stay that way for the rest of my life, stop trying to tell me otherwise or try to convert me into a Christian. i don’t believe in Jesus as my God nor do i go to church or do i worship the religion. have some respect, for Buddha’s sake. goddamn.
recently, i decided to put a little tinie tiny bit more effort into checking out BAP vids and such and i found myself just falling in love with them, and i fell real hard. was kinda late on all these but oh wells. i didnt pay much attention to them at first when they first debut but now that i do, omg they’re freakn amazing. im making an exception and allow them to be another one group that i fangirl about along with my other fandoms cuz i didnt wanna join any fandoms of any rookie groups that debuted recently cuz there are just TOO MANY so i limited myself with what groups to keep loving and supporting lol. but BAP totally won my heart recently, esp. daehyun kyahhhh. and here’s the tragedy, i discovered my love for them a bit too late and now that they’re having an upcoming concert here in the motherfckn LA, and all the tickets are SOLD OUT, my heart is hurting so bad cuz my chance to see them is gone, right there and then. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i wanna see them so bad after all those hours spending on doing research on them and now that i could of had the chance but it’s gone :(((( damn it. i hate myself >___< i wanna see my bap babies so badlyyy T____T
just because i’m the younger one does not give you a reason to boss me around. just because i live under the same roof as you being your younger sister, doesn’t fckn give you the reason to think you’re the shit and i have to obey your fckn orders. i’ve had enough of your bs since back in them days when i was just a little kid. i’ve had enough of your crap that you threw at me and all the hurtful things you’ve said to me. don’t give me your nasty attitude. you better be thankful that i’m your sister, not just some random friend out there cuz no one would ever live until this day dealing with your bs. and i really hope and wait to see that one day where someone will actually propose to you and willing to marry you. cuz idk, as much as it’s fcked up to say this, i hope someone WILL marry you soon and hopefully, your relationship with whoever that is WILL last cuz according how i’ve seen it so far these years, your attitude sucks & no one seems to actually stuck around long enough to deal with you, but me, your own fckn sister and your parents, that is all. grow up, you’re not 10 anymore, you’re turning 23 for buddha’s sake, have some manner in the way you speak cuz after all, everyone is still human, no need to speak to me or anyone else in a way that makes you better than them or as if you’re the queen. treasure and treat people the way you want to be treated before you lose them all, even me. just saying.
i am so tired of my sister’s attitude & her bullshit. my entire 19 years of living with her was a pain in the ass. she’s my sister and i love her and all but i just can’t stand her at times. she blames me for not being able to help out with anything in the family. she called me useless and rude. she said i only know how to sit there, eat, and spend money. she thinks that because i’m younger than her, i have to do this and that and listen to every bullshit she gives me. and because i’m younger, i have to do chores and this and that while still getting bitch at by her. if i dont do it, she called me lazy and irresponsible. she would go on saying why don’t i pay the bills then and why don’t i do something useful to the family.
she would say how she’s working hard everyday and i can’t even do the little things like washing dishes, doing laundry, etc. fckn shit, do i look like i’m always free? i have to go to work to make money and go to school too. before, i held it in when she bitch at me cuz i didn’t have a job back then so i can’t really talk back. but now, fck, i have a job and i make my own money. i pay my own bills. i buy my own shit. i ain’t asking for no allowance. i even give allowance to my parents. the fck is she thinking? if i talk back, she would say im disrespectful. i always tend to stuck on my words whenever i talk to her, she makes me so mad at times that i would forget a certain thing to say to her. esp when i’m speaking in vietnamese to her. idk how to put things into words to make her and my mom understand me. sighh. it’s like she’s trying to drive me right out of my own home.
she wears my clothes without asking for my permission. she thinks she’s all that cuz she’s the older one. she thinks that whatever she says, i have to listen to her. she talks down to me and make me the bad guy all the times. my mom always ended up yelling at me for not endure her stubborn personality when really, i’m fckn tired of her bs. she always say to kevin that i’m a selfish bitch and that he should be careful of me being his gf. the fck. the words that she say to me are always so mean and hurtful. she says i never do my chores at home and that i always make my dad and her bf do the dishes instead of me. she expects me to wash the dishes that HER friends came over and partied at my house then left, like wtf. she always call me mean things right in front of her friends and when i say something back, she gets mad and threatens to tell my mom. she says i’m a bad daughter and that i always do and say things that make everyone mad.
when i borrow her something, she would bitch at me. but when i don’t want her to use my stuffs, she says i’m selfish. before when i didn’t have a job, my dad was the one that bought me most of my stuffs and she always say i only know how to spend, spend, spend. but even when i buy my own shits, she still says i’m spending too much, with my own hardwork money. she finds the little flaws in everything that i do. i’m so tired of living with her. she never thinks of how i would feel when she say these things to me. she never ask me how i feel when she brought home her bf and have him sleeps over every single night with me sharing the room with her. she always mess up her space and i had to clean up after HER mess. i feel so wrong yet i cannot say a thing. life is hard at times when you have such a sister that sometimes, makes you wanna choke her alive. and i swear, one day, i’ll move out of this house and have my own space, that way, she won’t be bitching at me for anything. ughhh. i hate that i always have to cry over these things.