i was born into this world to an amazing mother and a wonderful father, too. my dad has always been a great man throughout my entire life. the one that taught me how to ride a bike, the one that teach me how to speak cantonese, the one that always tell me it is okay that i don’t understand much chinese as a part of a chinese family, the one that has always been there for me through everything, the one that always got my back cover whenever i missed my curfew back in the days, the one that always cook my favorite meals and always worried about whether i ate or not, the one man that always try to understand my feelings, the one man that i love to death and would not dare to imagine living a life without him, the one man that i would not trade anything else for, my father. daddy spoils me the most and understands me the most. i might not make him proud of being my dad but i know that he knows i’m always trying my best to be a good daughter. he has always been a hero and an inspiration for me in life. he’s a very strong man and he always does a great job being both a husband & a father figure to our family and i cannot not thank him enough for all that he has done. i am blessed to have him as my father. he’s the best dad i could have ever asked for and i am proud to be his daughter. happy father’s day, papa huynh <3
the definition of ‘living your life’ isn’t all about going to different parties, getting drunk every night, partying your night away, meet many ‘cool’ people, doing drugs, smoke weed, etc. living your life to the fullest does not mean you are required to step out of your comfort zone and follow the ‘crowd’. you dumbass kept telling me i was a boring gal and that i should live my life more. yeah right, so practically im boring and no fun cuz i dont do drugs or go to parties as much as you do and that i dont have ‘cool friends’ in my life so i considered to be old fashion and lame.
my definition of ‘living my life to the fullest’ is not about me going to parties or doing drugs and get high. i live my life being as happy as i can be surrounding myself around people that influence me in a BETTER way. people that don’t initiate me to do drugs or force me to party when i don’t want to, but at least, they don’t judge me for being ‘boring’ for not being out in the public, partying every week. i’m not the type to go to many parties or get high or even do drugs but i wont say anything if that is your definition on having a ‘fun life’ cuz i mean, it’s your life, so do what you want with it. don’t judge how i live my life and how i handle my life if you’re no longer a part of it or that you have no intention to stay in it as well. you have no rights to judge the way i present myself and live my life.
i don’t smoke weed or take pills like you do or your friends do, but i wake up everyday with a smile on my face, going to work, earning that money, shop my stress away, watch my favorite movies with my lover, and spending quality times with my favorite people. that is what i called living my life the way i WANTED to live. not everything involving drugs, or getting high, or partying a lot is considered to be fun and ‘living life to the fullest’. it’s not all about following the crowd. i’d rather stay within my comfort zone doing the things i enjoy the most. so don’t tell me how to live my life. my life is boring? stay the hell out of it.
i am so tired of dealing with my sister’s bullshit. as much as i appreciate and thankful to have her as my sister, i just can’t seem to stand the fact that she can be such a brat and selfish person at times. she always complain how i’m so selfish and that i’m always so disrespectful. she never even once think about my feelings nor did she ever ask me for my opinions. i’m the younger one but that doesn’t mean she’s always right in everything. she always blab about me to her bf about the shit that i say or do like shit, what can he do to me? it’s not like he can do anything cuz this is my house, and this room is a part of mine, so he should be knowing his place instead. my sis bitches too much about the way i talk, the way i mention about organizing the room, the way i don’t let her borrow my shit cuz she never take care of them. everything i do, she always find a way to make it looks like i’m a bad person even though i only speak the truth. honestly, i dont wish for her to move out cuz this room is part of hers but then again, if she wants to stay with her bf so badly then she should think it through and be considerate towards me to move out so that i can have my own privacy without them BOTH invading my personal space, every damn day. sometimes, i really wish i had a brother. maybe then, my ‘brother’ wouldn’t be so selfish and uncaring like my sister. but then again, it’s not like my words matter anyways, cuz i’m the younger one.
you know you deserve better. you know that your happiness counts, too. you know that deep down inside, this reality is by far the least thing you would want to deal with. and that suffering so much like this all because of one person, isn’t all that satisfying or worth it. so why settle for less than what you deserve?
you are so ridiculous and dumb. you make a fool out of yourself. and make your relationship looks like a joke in public. sometimes, you make people questioning your mentality and your skills on handling ‘reality’ because you are too caught up with a jackass you always complain about yet never ‘be smart’ enough to leave the jerk for someone new. yet you always tell people how fcked up he is but you’re the stupid one to always going back by his side even after every single time he did you wrong. you guys break up, you said you’re done, then he said baby im sorry i love you, then you take him back within a heartbeat. dont be butthurt when people look down on you because of how dumb you can be when it comes to what YOU think is ‘love’ cuz you make yourself look bad as a girl and people wont give you respect if you dont even bother to give you respect in the first place. stop making a fool out of yourself and think wise. sooner or later, your relationship and you yourself will just look like a joke and some stupid bullshit in people’s eyes.
- after i let out a good cry & talk to my parents last night regarding my sis & her bf, i knocked out as soon as i finished an old taiwanese drama then i was interrupted by my sis & her bf getting back from clubbing at 3 something in the morning -____-
- woke up so early, barely had as little as 5 hours ish of sleep though i was duper super excited for the saturday shopping in LA cuz i’ve been nagging at kevin for the longest time ever to have him agree to taking me there >___<
- i spent exactly 30 (kevin put in another 5 for me lol) for 5 items; 2 circle skirts for $15, a nwt charlotte russe top for $5, a nwt floral chiffon top from forever 21 for $7, and a cream crochet shorts for $8 :) im so happy with what i’ve bought cuz they’re what i’ve been trying to find but too cheap to pay for double the price on most online stores :D
- babe spoiled me to a pair of cute booty shorts at hollister when we went to the mall to watch epic :D and it was definitely an epic movie :) [3 movies in 3 days, hangover III on thurs, fast&furious6 on fri, and epic on sat lol]
- we went to get some boba cuz thats part of our usual weekend kind of thing ^^ and babe decided to take me to round1 as well and originally, i wanted this hello kitty plushie since it first came out but we never get hold of it even today, cuz it wont even budge even after many tries so i told kevin to just forget it. but he just randomly gave a try to a rilakkuma plushie and got it as his first try, i was so surprised and he was too. i literally jumped in happiness. later on, he got me the korilakkuma one but that we had to try to get it twice lol but it was worth it <3 thank you baby for spoiling me, like always!
- i’ve asked my dad to build me a rack on top of my bed to store some of my plushies since i am literally running out of space to sleep lmao and i dont want to throw any of them away cuz most of them are from kevin and they’re hello kitty, rilakkuma, korilakkuma, so how can i throw them away, right? lol
- i begged kevin for awhile for him to agree to take me to goodwill and i found a pair of high waisted shorts in the kids section and it fits me. i was like ‘omg it fits!!!’ and even the cashier guy was surprised lmao but i also got 2 vintage crossbody bags for $5.99 each, yess!!! :D im so happy :) what a great day lmao
- work tmr, then day off on monday. how annoying is that??? -__-
i’ve been trying to find a ‘chance’ where i could sit down and talk to my parents about what has been happening regarding my sister and her bf. so tonight, i came home and i prepared myself & planned out all of these things i wanted to say to them and i finally pulled myself together to talk to them. i literally went all out on my feelings. everything.
i was rubbing mimi and massaging her as i talked to them about it. i didnt cry yet but i had the urge to but i told myself to hold back cuz i needed to talk it out with them before i spill out a bunch of tears that would stop me from talking. i said how i am a girl and that i am no longer a baby in anyone’s eyes. i am closed to a grown up woman and that i do need my own personal space and ‘freedom’ but everyday, i am living in a room with my sister along with another guy in this small as hell of a room. always walking around half naked, speaking and acting as if this is his house and that’s what i hate most about people. i told my parents that because i cannot hold it back in anymore that i had to let it out. i didnt want them to feel the need to take anyone side cuz we’re both their daughters. and that i want them to understand me and what i have to say.
daddy said he might go back to vn with my mom and i burst out in tears saying i do not want to be far from them or that they have to move out all because of an ‘outsider’. daddy was very calm throughout the whole thing and that he kept trying to tell my mom to hear me out first before anything else. he was trying to listen to what i had to say and after everything that i said to them, he told them he’ll talk to my sis and her bf. and that he understands what im going through. he told me what i said are not wrong and that i have to the rights to feel this way because after all, i am not a baby anymore. i need my own space, my own privacy and that i have to the rights to fight for that because i live in this house and that this room is part of mine.
i’ve waited for my dad to come back from his vacation in vn and im glad i told him everything because after all, my dad is a very understanding man and that he always all ears when i had to say something to him. and that’s what i love most about my dad. i was right to talk to him about this matter. im glad i let it out. im glad my dad told my mom to listen to me and try to understand what im going through. im not happy that my dad takes my side cuz thats not what i wanted, i wanted him to understand and hear me out, and he did and i feel so much happier letting him know. i feel less stressed out and in a way, hopeful that things might get better now that my dad has heard me and promised he’ll do something about this. im honestly proud & glad to be my daddy’s little girl cuz he’s the one that always understand me and loves me the most.
- went to work today with a happy thought in mind that i would be seeing my daddy today cuz he just came back from his trip in vn :D
- had my finals today and i did good :) yay me! when i came home and i saw my dad, i ran into him and hugged him and literally had tears in my eyes, that’s just how much i missed and needed him in my life. im my daddy’s little girl ^___^
- my aunt bought me some eyedrops, the ones that i specifically asked for :D that stuffs are just bomb. they burn, but they burn so good :)
- i’ve been really off on my daily meal and i have a feeling im losing weight but i cant be so sure.. >___< plus doing all of these squats exercises really burn out my fat in the legs so im happy with the results so far even though they’re not all that much of a difference yet.
- daddy is back & he just sighed at the way me & my sis (& her bf….) ‘re-decorated’ my room, well who to blame? lol… -____- but i cant wait for daddy to put up a shoe rack for me to complete the look of my closet ^__^
everyday with you is like a new beginning in life. everyday is an adventure whenever i get to spend it with you. i go to sleep every night with you being the last person i think of and waking up in the morning with you being my first thought as well. and no, it’s not because of pain that i thought of you so constantly. it’s all love, baby. nothing but happiness in these little thoughts i have of you and us.
every time i have to vent, or cry, you’re always there with open arms and shoulders ready to lend them to me. you’re a best friend, a lover, a soulmate, and someone i want to spend the rest of my life with. you’re a little bit with everything. like a puzzle, it took me awhile to figure out & put together each and every piece, but after i was done with all that, you’re a lovely, beautiful person, inside and out. once in awhile, i would suddenly have a moment where i thought ‘wow, he really is mine’ and i laughed at me for being silly. it had been over a year, but that feeling is always there. i always thought it was so amazing that you are mine and that this love is so strong and magical at the same time.
and baby, even until this day, i still fall for you everyday..
- i’ve been doing squats (both for the thighs & the butt) lately and oh my gawd, the pain was just torturing though i was able to bear it. been doing it everyday for about almost a week, and i’m starting to feel AND see the difference. so im gonna keep up with this for that sexy butt & thighs kekeke. then after that, ima invest in a yoga mat to do some abs exercise since im not a gym person, so the least i can be is a cardio/home exercises person :) i can do it!
- supposedly, kevin was going to take me to shopping in LA tmr as well as going to the beach but our boss is being a jackass & decided to give out our paychecks on monday instead of thursday (our payday) so no money to shopping or to go out to fun places. plus the weather has been going on bitchy mode lately so no beaches until it’s sunny and warm again >___<
- daddy is coming back on monday! yayyy!!! cannot wait to finally see my dad again :) i miss him so much! ;~;
- next week shall be my finals week then im done with my spring semester. then it will be summer time!~ then school again during fall -____-;; OTL oh wells, life hasnt been all that good to me lately but that wont faze me. chin up, & smile~ ^___^