- i woke up super late for work and ended up looking like a bum going to work this morning.
- was super duper excited to see my momma again after one month and when i finally saw her, i jumped to hug her and i almost bust in tears. i’m my momma’s little girl, forever. though she was away for only a month, it felt like forever :(
- mommy bought me tons of banh trang (vietnamese snacks; aka rice papers) and eye drops for me & kevin, bracelet and a bunch of stud earrings lol yayy <33
- i bought daddy a cake for his bday which was on friday but he insisted on celebrating it today cuz mommy came home today thats why :)
- got to spend some quality time with my family and cousins today and i love every second of it <3 :)
- kevin called out so happily to my mom when he first saw her and mommy smiled at him ^^
- happy belated birthday to my lovely daddy and a warm welcome to my momma <3
- work tmr and school at night, but hopefully i wont be too dead tmr cuz im still not caught up on my sleeping schedule yet :( boooo
- and oh, kevin bought me my early one year anniversary gift earlier today and im super duper happy to receive it :D i’ve been ‘needing’ AND ‘wanting’ a wallet cuz mine ripped and all jacked u p and so he told me to look for one with a good deal and i found one so he bought it for me lol ^___^ yayy~
mommy has boarded the plane a few hours ago and i cannot wait to see my mom tmr when i get home from work! so happy & excited to see my lovely momma again after one month :D
- mommy is only 2 days away from coming home to our lovely huynh family with them goodies from vietnam <3
- one year anniversary with dragonball is approaching and i’m getting nervous & excited at the same time! gotta get his present done asap so that i can study and get my hw done :(
- my cartilage piercings have been swollen and bleeding pretty badly lately and i hated myself for not taking care of it since day one. still waiting for a right day and a chance to get my tragus pierce then i’m done with piercing for good!
- weather has been warming up then getting back on being cold, so i’m kinda in between from getting sick and being well -___-;;
- though, i do love the rain especially when i’m sleeping at night kekeke so soothing~
- kevin paid for his tax return thing and he’s complaining he’s so broke while my ass still owes him money, my mom, and my credit card too. our lives are just j;afkldjslfjsd;lf with these debts hanging in front of us OTL
- kevin confessed to me that he’s slowing losing interest in cigarettes as well as his body is rejecting it as well. he has been smoking from the vapor (idk what’s the exact name) and apparently, it has been helping him a lot from putting away cigarettes! it smells sweet haha so it feels better kissing him lmao <3
- march has officially started! so excited to save up some money to buy myself some spring essentials :D
- our one year’s is only days away and im gathering up some more materials and information on what i can diy for my baby since i’m on a budget OTL
- mommy is coming back from vietnam in 1 week, yessss. cant wait to see my lovely mommy again and receive my presents (which i have to pay for them lol…)
- daddy’s bday is around the corner, gotta get him a little of something so that he can feel some of them love from me :D
- been stressing out quite a bit lately due to money issues lol sad life. but hopefully, those problems will go away soon!
- 2 days off per week has never been enough for me to rest my stress and tiredness away. i’m always tired and sleepy whenever i have work and school :( it sucks. oh well, let’s think happy thoughts and be positive. cuz it’s march, it’s gonna be a great, lovely month ^____^ <3
i was feeling really bored while i let a movie load on a different browser so i went back on my super duper old posts and literally, spent over 3 hours just deleting all those posts that i used to write about my pathetic love life back in the days. i felt stupid re-reading them and i just wanted to slap and laugh at myself for being so dumb back then lol. oh how pathetic i used to be like, all because of one damn ‘boy’. lmao thanks goodness all that bad shit are now forever gone. re-read and deleted (most of) them for good. it was such a huge difference with the me then and the me now. how i managed to move on with my life even after all that bullshit and still being happy like i am right now is just beyond my imagination but i’m glad i’m here now, happier than i’d ever be. bye bye to them bad memories, and welcome these sweet, little memories i’m making with a special someone. life may be harsh to me back then, but i challenged it while it lasted, and here i am, life has been treating me well since then on, because it knew that this is what i deserve for all that suffering.
slowly converting kevin into a fanboy of korean dramas. yeah buddy! lmao i have found a personal, close buddy to watch kdramas with hahah <3
thank you for being there. thank you for loving me. thank you for keeping your promises. thank you for showing me that you care. thank you for proving to me that you’re different. thank you for wiping away my tears. thank you for lending me your shoulders to cry on. thank you for every little things you do. for the good morning and good night you say to me everyday. for those times when you always remember to reach out to my hand and hold it tight in yours. for those times when you said you got my back. for those times when you were there for me when things went wrong. and for those times when you make me laugh at your corny jokes. thank you, for everything. your love gives me hope and strength to move on life.
i hate my sister. not for her being my sister but for her being so selfish and inconsiderate at times. she yells at me for the little things i do but when she does wrong, i can’t even tell her that she’s wrong. when i buy her presents, she never even use them. she asked me if i’m gonna buy her presents for some occasions and because i’m making money now, i’d thought i should buy her a little something, but even when i spent lots of money on her presents, she never even uses it even just once. i feel like the money that i’ve spent on her has gone to vain. and when the clothes that i bought with my own hardwork money, she uses them and throw them around like they’re just trash once she’s done wearing them. she took my clothes without asking me for my permission whenever i’m not around. she didn’t take good care of the clothes that she borrows that belongs to me. and she claimed that the clothes she bought FOR me are hers because she paid for them. she claimed that my clothes are hers to use too because we’re SISTERS.
and yet, whenever i ask to borrow her clothes, she would bitch at me or she would make excuses that she’s gonna wear them so that i won’t be able to borrow it. she would yell at me for being disrespectful if i talk back and not allow her to borrow my clothes. she makes money so she buys lots of pretty clothes too but she hardly even wears her own clothes but always wear mine instead. i folded and hung all of my clothes up nice and neatly, but when she doesn’t know what to wear after looking at her closet, she didn’t even bother to hesitate even once and mess up my closet just to look for something to wear from it. i hate how she can be so damn selfish and rude in away i just can’t seem to stand even when i’ve been living with her my whole life. i couldn’t talk back because she always dare to threaten me with something and always call me disrespectful and that she’ll tell my mom on me. i can’t say no at times but because i hate the way she acts so much that a NO must be slap right into her face sometimes. ughh why can’t my sister be a normal sister like everyone’s else’s sister?
it bothers me whenever i see someone i know literally suffering by ‘being in love’. it makes me wanna ask if that person is actually really in love, or just too comfortable to let go. they asked me how i managed to overcome my past. well, it wasn’t easy for me to answer but the honest truth is, i came around to realize what’s the best option for me. what i really wanted. what i really, truly need. i sort out my options. i sort out my feelings. i sort out every little details. from all the pain i’ve suffered. from all the tears i’ve shred. from all the heartbreaks i’ve experienced, one after another. from all the arguments i had to put myself into. from all the sleepless nights i had to put up with. from all the endless amount of fighting. and of course, from all the effort i put in but was just never enough. i realized that, in the end, no matter how much i tried, my best was just never enough. to fill in all the empty holes. never.
i knew it well that that wasn’t the reality i wanted to face. i knew it well that these assholes don’t deserve a second chance. i knew it well that these idiots only break my heart, not heal it. and i knew it so well that my ass deserves a good person to love me, and to embrace my flaws and love me for who i am, not to open me up and destroy me, inside out. it took me awhile, tbh. but i got over it. and i’m glad to say that i am much a happier person than i was before after letting go of that crappy past of mine. and i’m not saying i’ve completely forgotten about what happened. i still have these little images inside my head, constantly reminds me of how stupid and naive i was so that i won’t make the same mistakes. nothing worth having comes easy, they say. i suffered. i really did. but after all that pain and suffering, i finally deserve some good happiness and plenty of sunshine in my life. it only comes when i actually put my past behind and move on with a positive mind, knowing that i deserve better than that crap and i don’t deserve a guy who breaks my heart more than making me happy. it’s okay, it takes time. but hey, if you want the best for yourself, you’ll go for it. have some pride and chase for that happiness that you want to have. stop telling me and everyone around you how miserable your relationship is, how fcked up he is, or how much better you deserve. because nothing is gonna change unless you do something, not just talk words about it. i was in your shoes, and i overcame it, so can you. think about your happiness. think about what you deserve to have. it’s only a matter of time.
it doesn’t matter if you think that as long as two people loves each other, nothing else matter. things doesn’t always work that way. be realistic. nothing is like a fairytale. this is reality we’re talking about. you keep complaining why you keep on coming back to this jackass when you have a ton of other options out there. girl, complaining isn’t gonna heal your heart. you do what you have to do. have some dignity for buddha’s sake. you think loving this boy is gonna save your heart from getting broken over and over? dream on. you clearly see what kind of a douchebag he is and you couldn’t help but coming back to him every time even after countless of times he has done you wrong. you see why people stop telling you what they think when you asked for opinions? that’s cuz you’re too dumb and blind to even listen and see what’s wrong and right. even your friends’ and family members’ words can’t get inside that head of yours. don’t be so naive. your life isn’t gonna be like a fairytale.
you think all you and him need is love. what about your happiness? you’re just gonna sit there, waiting for him to make you happy again every time you guys fight? lol you’re funny. don’t ridicule yourself. he ain’t gonna change. not for you, and i doubt that he’s gonna do so for anyone else, too. you gotta open up your eyes and be brave and do what’s best for yourself. you’re a girl, but that doesn’t mean you can throw away your pride and be with a dickhead that never change and have your little heart hurting over someone like that. nothing can help you but yourself. stop asking for what other people thinks about your relationship, stop asking why you keep coming back to him, but start thinking about ALL the damn reasons why you SHOULD leave his dumbass. do yourself a favor, dear.